#theyll be GREAT at it

[evilminji]

OKAY, FIRST? Like the Picture Says...

So!

Here I was, sittin', thinkin', pondering my thoughts. Thing to myself? "How could one? Presumably female, much like myself, Jedi repopul-" and THAT is when my brain, worn and weary, from years of The Internet? SLAMMED its fucking pint down on the bar counter, turned to me with an ugly scowl and sneered?

"You KNOW fucking how. Don't be coy."

( O.O) w-well alright then, brain. Little aggressive. Kinda wondering where you got the knife. I... I'ma just... go... *pint glass is thrown after me, shattering on the door as it just barely misses*

So! Yeah. Birth, probably. But STILL! That's like? Still ONE(1) fuckin Jedi right? And even IF Mr. "I am literally half midi-chlorians by blood" sired two Force Sensitives on his first go? That's no guarantee EVERYONE does?

Unless..... >.> we are taking into account a Force Sensitive RACE. THEN? Oh, THEN? It's not a matter of IF, but HOW MUCH. Enough to hit that arbitrary cut off point? What if you don't care? What if you say "everybody can be a Jedi"? Want to TRUELY spread the Light. Not just to those who are STRONG enough... but to EVERYONE.

There are a few races like that! But! That STILL? Doesn't solve the Puzzle! The Problem! Of how could One(1) VERY determined Jedi lady, who? Presumably is pretty cool with motherhood. Rebuild The Jedi Order, by NOPING™ out before Order 66.

Again, presumably AFTER taking on the role of Creche Master. And AFTER taking all the youngling on a Super Fun Unplanned Don't Tell The Other Grown Ups Suprise Feild Trip~☆ (yaaaaay!)(who wants snacks! Everybody got their travel bags and buddies? Let's gooooo~☆!)

Cause like? Still need a stable population. And enough Jedi to *obscene gestures multiculturally* at the Sith.

My? Proposal? We turn to the Wisdom of the Monster Fuckers. (Wait wait WAIT! Don't leave! HEAR ME OUT!) I KNOW this sounds like a sex thing! Not a sex thing! It's a "Who said Humanoid Meant Live Birth? Were fucking Aliens, Bro" thing! Just because? Our SI-OC? Was reborn AS a vaguely human shaped sentient?

DOESNT MEAN SHE'S A MAMMAL.

That weird hair color could mark her as some WEIRD, man! Fuck, for all we know she could be a fungus! It's vaguely body horror! You get over it! Adapt to new biology!

Learn?? You lay CLUTCHS. Fuckin EGGS. All baby making is external after the first bit. Something, something, easier to defend against predators. SI-OC doesn't remember that part. There was this high pitched ringing in her head then a thump. She was on the floor. May have fainted. What're you, a cop?

They offer her weird alien birth control.

She takes the birth control.

Learns she is a Rare and Near Extinct Species, a la Master Mundi. Learns it's VERY detrimental to her health to lay clutches. Takes a lot of resources, she can't LEAVE it, so with out a partner or community (or sufficient hoard of food) she WILL starve to death. It HAS happened.

No, seriously, look Mafame Che in the eyes. It HAS happened. And no you CAN'T "push your impulses into the Force". It's a biological imperative. Your body physically won't LET you.

Exactly three options. Babies born, they die, or YOU DIE.

......little intense. Got it. Yes she would like that birth control. She will continue to be both average and forgettable. Pay no attention to the Jedi Creche Master In Training! Oh look! It's kenobi! *yeets fellow jedi under the speeder*

Take some.... research trips >.> <.< >.> which is of course totally not scouting out new Temple locations! To the Wild Zone. Mmmmm, no one for WEEKS by hyperdrive! It's so calm out here!

Only took, like, 278 different planets scouted! To find the right one.

*starts building dwellings.* *starts directing "too old" Force Sensitives or Families that want to stay together and are willing to move, towards the location.*

New secret Jedi planet? Whaaaaat? Nooooooo. That would be illegal. Jedi can't break RULES! Don't be silly. Oh? Is that Skywalker? *same Speeder, new jedi. YEET!*

But WAIT! The War Approachth! D:> upsetting. Better get ready to give that "we totally need to Hide The Babies For War Reasons" presentation she has prepared. But FIRST?

A clutch. Got a transport pod ready to go. Got food stockpiled. Got the birth control out. Now? Just need a male! Too uh... contribute.

.......look, she wants her legion of tiny jedi babies okay? They glow like STARS. Everything is BETTER with them around. And she's kinda come around to this whole... disgusting slime... goo... Thing™. Cause I mean? At LEAST it's not pushing one OUT! ( o7 Padme, you have her respect. But also you are a madwoman.)

The Healers, are of course, FROTHING at the mouth.

YOU DUMB MOTHER FUCKER. They hiss, like healing and very concerned paragons of needle weilding fury. Where the FUCK are you going to just? GET?? A male of you INCREDIBLY RARE AS FUCK Species? You damn near dead and no longer existent species??!? You have DELIBERATELY put yourself in EXTREME medical distress! For WHAT?! Did you HAVE a plan!?

Yeah. :3 I call it Pulling a Yoda's Linage *Yoda ears move from Concern, to Intrigued*

*click*

..........what was that. Jedi SI-OC, What Was That?? *comms start blowing up* What did you just DO?

Oh :3c simple. She asked. It's the only polite thing to DO after all. She DOES need assistance. Surely someone would be willing to offer. If they can. How? You may ask?? Why look so CONCERNED Councilors! She simply assumed, that? Since there is no way of KNOWING where in the Galaxy surviving members of her Race are? And time IS of the essence? She SHOULD reach as wide an audience as she can, as FAST as she can... RIGHT?

>:3c so, of course, she posted her request to the Holonet.

Video and all.

"Grettings, I am Jedi SI-OC. I am an [race] and currently a Creche Master here at the Jedi Temple of Coruscant. I require the assistance of a healthy, willing Male of my species, as I have laid a clutch. And wish to have it fertilized. I would like to have children. We would, of course, discuss co parenting the children before beginning. I have, attached, further details. Thank you for your time. May the Force be with you"

Sexiest shit a LOT of people for egg laying races have seen in years. Well... those with Very Specific Jedi Kinks. Of course, no one ADMITS to jedi kinks. But like... you've thought about it. Don't lie. Everyone's thought about it. It's them and the Mandalorians.*commiserating noises*

But like? The NEWS CYCLE.

Holy SHIT.

Yeah, yeah, tensions and possible succession from the Republic. Sith plots in the background. But? *new casters violently clear their planned segments for THIS* JEDI? Horny on main!? Is THIS ALLOWED? IS this horny? What race is that? C-can other people volunteer? And if so, who? We take to the streets! Sir, what's your opinion on-?

OUTTA MY WAY, I'MMA BANG A JEDI! *frenzied mob like behavior*

*temple guards, unnamused.* back! BACK! Horny jail! For ALL OF YOU!

Just?? It's? So, SO? Important to me? That their are Mandalorian [race] that show up. Because the need to repopulate their people is more important then *scrunch nose* Jedi(ew). That it becomes the Galaxy's hottest Bachelorette show. WHO? Amongst these Fine And Acomplished Men? Will the Jedi CHOOSE? To have babies with! They ask.

And, presumably, marry and learn the power of family and friendship and emotions and be HEALED by LOVE etc etc.

There are shipping charts. It's horrifying. The talk shows LOVE it.

Council? Day drinking. Except for Mundi. He's just like "....but did you HAVE to you they Holonet? It's so MESSY >:/ everyone's in our BUSINESS now." Cause he's not a hypocrite. Grumpy asshole? Absolutely. But not a hypocrite.

Just? The single most "....who?" Jedi ever. Causing the BIGGEST fuss. Right at the worst possible moment, for Sidious. Causing an explosion of glee and hope and laughter etc, all across the Galaxy. Good feeling towards the Jedi. EVERYBODY talking about them. There's gonna be HUNDREDS more!

If she does this AGAIN (in a decade. Madame Che was NOT joking on the stress it puts on the body) there could be thousands new Jedi over the coming years! (Probably why the Sith fuckin wiped them OUT, not that she thinks about it. Fuckers. Who's laughing NOW?! Huh? WHO LAUGHING NOW?!)

Again! Very, unspeakably Ace. Not a sex thing. I just think I'd be funny? That the Forces answer to The Evil Sith plan was... Babies™.

What are we? Fuckin YODA?

@babbling-babull @hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @spidori @hypewinter @mayfay

[meli-mouse]

say cheese!

[samwise1548]

Did another one

Next, Prev, First

[ID: Four sequential drawings of Martin Blackwood from the Magnus Archives turned orange cat.

Panel 1: A close up of cat Martin with a blank face and the question "What?" written above his head in blue.

Panel 2: Zooming out from the previous, Martin is seated on top of a table with two seats on the sides. He thinks, "How did I-". Off screen a voice says "Just a moment!"

Panel 3: Someone comes into frame in front of Martin, who's only visible by his twitching cat ear in the corner. The person has brown skin and grey hair, wearing a white shirt and blue tie. They are holding a blue bowl in their hands. They say "Right then." with a blushing smile.

Panel 4: Zoomed out again, we see that it's Jon in front of cat Martin. He says "I made you dinner." Nervous and sweating Martin thinks "How did I end up in Jonathan Sims's flat?!"

\End ID]

[paper-mario-wiki]

When I take off my makeup I can be a regular, masculine, normal looking male boy, just like everyone else. Blending in seamlessly. Impressed?

[killjoy-prince]

Spaceship thoughts

[unionize-catgirls]

"aziraphael and crowley will be so romantic in season 3" eventually, sure.

but first theyre gonna be SO bitchy and SO passive aggressive and its going to be SO FUNNY

[existencebringsonlypain]

perhaps i should afford myself the same kindness I grant so freely to others

[hostilemuppet]

[cerealmonster15]

a jamiazu sketchy sketch bc oh my god i am LOVING the energy these two are bringing with each other in this event!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a win for the jamiazu community!!!!

[puhpandas]

just watched all the way through john fuhnaffs recent theory and like godd he really is cooking he truly is onto something but like. the idea that Cassies dad did all of thos important stuff and is connected to the mimic and built mxes and did all this shit is like. what do Gregory and vanessa even have to do with anything anymore at this point

[alchemicaladarna]

Right, ok, so y'all know how excited a lot of people are after Sunny met q!Slime not only because it turns out q!Slime is completely enamored with her, but also because sunny might get the chance to meet Codeflippa soon?

I mean it's kinda up to debate whether or not Codeflippa would get along with Sunny or try to murder her immediately but regardless-

I kind of want Sunny to meet Codeflippa on the account that q!Tubbo will kind of freak out because he knows what Codeflippa really is. So, to keep Sunny safe, he either refines Creation so it could protect Sunny if she's in danger. Or like have it watch from afar very ominously. Either way works.

Ngl Creation and Codeflippa meeting would be the best crossover episode. Also plot twist, this is a Creation post. I just wanted to talk about them. I miss them. Bring them back plsssss

[alteredsu]

So i reblonded my hair but also added bangs on a whim, idk how i feel about them 🤷🏼‍♀️

[commandermeg]

I can't be the only one who can't really get into the new Trek series after what Paramount tried to pull with Prodigy, right?

I don't trust Paramount at ALL.

[gaemms-chamois]

Darknights Mystery Dungeon

[yumedoca]

Love how in the latest episode all this stupid moron does is butt into situations which doesn't even really concern him. He's just there to annoy everyone else and we love him for that.

[akkivee]

here’s why kuukou and amy are twins:

hyperactive to point it sometimes overwhelms people

loves having fun and going out their own adventures and often wants to share those finds with people they like

shown to track down their crushes friends bc they want to hang out with them and are pushy about it lol

both described as troublemakers

unconditional lovers

not afraid to stand up to wrongdoings and are pretty proactive about it

both love nature

both love sweets

fashionistas!!!!!!

trains very hard to become the ideal versions of themselves

also changed their looks to match that ideal self

depicted as protectors

believers of fate

like ‘you’re my soulmate’ stage kuukou said to ichiro and amy’s tarot cards pointed to sonic as her soulmate

forever changed the trajectory of a red/black dude with love

kuukou’s name is a time marker in buddhism, amy has unrealised time powers

both try to hide their weaknesses and are very aware of them

regardless of if kuukou realises this or not lol, both use weapons despite being very strong without them

both are hotheads but can and have solved conflict with their words/actions/feelings and tend to drop whatever they were doing to help